Gosh. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted on here. It’s been a season… growth, change, burying my head in the sand, coming up for air, diving into books, workshops, programs … hanging with the people right in front of me. Finding presence in my being, finding contentment in my place.
I’ve read more books in the last 8 months than I’ve read in the last 8 years. Aside from children’s books, that is. One that I (re)read and was more impactful now than the first time I read it was The Four Agreements.
Be impeccable with your word.
Take nothing personally.
Don’t make assumptions.
Always do your best.
I recently found myself in an overwhelm of disappointment because a friend of mine didn’t follow through with what he said. And the Agreements came to mind. Now, here’s the thing – I first wanted to be so pissed at him for not being impeccable with his word. Right? He didn’t follow through. Lame. As Brene says, “clear is kind, unclear is unkind.” Be impeccable with your word, homeslice. (I said, as I was pointing my finger outwards.)
But then I took a breath. Breathing always helps me refocus. Sometimes it takes a few weeks of breathing… but eventually I get there. I took the focus inward. I noticed how often I am not impeccable with my word, allowing the judgment to subside and compassion to fill its space.
#2 And then I didn’t take his lack of action personally. I actually have no idea what may have come up, and can let go of the personal attack that he forgot about me.
#3 Don’t make assumptions – okay. I assumed he had plenty of time and interest… deep breath, let it go.
#4 Always do your best. I believe I’m doing my best, you’e doing your best, friend who forgot is doing his best. All the time. Even if my best is a shitshow — even if your best is a shitshow. It’s my best in the moment. I would do better if I could.
When I can abide in Presence, the suffering I create subsides. I get to let it all be as it is. Now, I’m learning from Brene to set some better boundaries, so I might take different action next time. But the Agreements remain.
Until next time … there’s more brewing. ♥