I’m currently reading some books … it’s rare that I read just one at a time. One of them is The Surrender Experiment, by Michael Singer. It has me thinking about surrender often, the word and the intention sitting close to the surface. What does it mean to surrender my desires and preferences to a greater good? I have had a few conversations with close friends on the topic, and have noticed how the pendulum can swing from willful, to defeat, to conscious surrender of a higher calling. This is what poured forth when I connected with the feelings attached to willfulness, defeated, and yielding:
Different kinds of Surrender:
Surrendering from the place of yielding to Grace’s precious and perfect plan for me;
or surrendering as a mind game of giving up.
When I hold surrender as sacred yielding, nothing can go wrong.
Grace holds me with my feet firmly rooted in Truth and Love, and Strength.
She allows my crown to rise, my face turned towards the sun, illuminating the path forward in every step, in every moment, my hands turned upwards
I am peace, my mind is calm, my surrender is gentle and I can rest believing that life is unfolding in perfect harmony for me.
When I hold surrender as giving up I am not acknowledging or living from my Highest Self.
I am asking for the void, the inevitable feelings of sadness, fear, loneliness, unworthy of claiming the expansiveness that Grace is willing to offer.
Distraught and downtrodden, I let go out of defeat.
When I am willful, I want to strong-arm Grace into giving me what I want, what I think I “need” in the moment.
Stomping my feet, shaking my fists, feeling the anger rise in me as I realize I am not in control.
I never was.
Control was the illusion, willfulness carries tension, exhaustion, frustration.
Surrender in peace?
assert my own will?
How do I want to play today?